Celebration For Lisa

When in March I heard that Ron was going to wait until April to have the celebration for Lisa so that there would be flowers and buds in the paddock it was a cold and overcast day and it felt like Spring would never come. But last week temperatures jumped into the 60s and Saturday was bright, sunny, warm and full of possibility the way that spring days can be in New England. Just as Ron had predicted, the trees were budding, spring flowers had emerged from their beds and the grass in the paddock was green with random daffodils punctuating the lawn.

We gathered in the paddock between Ron, Dee and Larry’s houses where Linda, Lisa’s mother is also, making a wide arch around the flower bed and a easel with two photographs, one a portrait of Lisa and Linda and another of a raven taking off by Keith Carter that Ron had given Lisa for their wedding.

Reverend Keith Magee, who married Lisa and Ron just a few years ago, led the service with a prayer and some readings. Nic Johnson from NESOP spoke about Lisa’s under acknowledged talent as a photographer and the way that she worked with colleagues and students. “No one ever said that they had a bad experience with Lisa.” He announced that a show of her work would be held at the school next Spring. Beth Breslauer, who was a friend and roommate of Lisa’s for 7 years gave a voice for Lisa’s friends, sharing stories and anecdotes. Then Ron spoke about Lisa and what she meant to him and Robert, Ron’s brother, sang for Lisa. Reverend Magee, who also knew Lisa from NESOP, spoke about her gentleness, spirituality and ability to listen and be.

I wish that I could do more than just summarize each speech and instead put into words how each speaker evoked an aspect of Lisa and the loss that each felt, but I’m not that talented. I can only say that together they expressed Lisa from five sides and each of us there expanded that from our own experiences with her to form a complete realization of Lisa in our hearts and minds. And a lot of us cried.

Gathering closer to the flower bed we watched as Ron placed Lisa’s ashes in the ground near her mother.

After the ceremony there were hugs and tears, recognitions and greetings, acknowledgements and reconciliations as we slowly made our way from the paddock to lunch. Lisa has made friends in many places and from many groups in her life and they were all represented. I can’t imagine that I was the only person there who saw old friends that I hadn’t been with in years or forgave and were forgiven for past arguments. We got it Lisa we’re sticking together.

We sat in the grass with friends and talked about Lisa and caught ourselves up with each other and watched Kiki in the purple butterfly costume that she changed into run and play with her cousins. Some gradually left and others lingered to have our faces turned red in the spring sun, share stories and look at new work until the dishes were put away and the tables were stacked and Ron had watered the garden. Until finally we said goodbye to each other. And we left the celebration that shouldn’t have been yet, but that we didn’t want to end.

April 23, 2008. Lisa Garner.